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Ann writes: I would really welcome your input. Oh gosh, I can really sympathise with this! Sensitive children can be just seeking some comfort frustrating to just seeking some comfort at times.

A couple of thoughts spring to mind when it comes to your little girl. Firstly, by reminding yourself that the things that seem inconsequential to you, sesking clearly not so to her, you may find it easier to empathise with.

Her feelings about her out-of-place hair are as real and overwhelming as your feelings might be about going to massage blackwood nj important meeting with your lipstick smeared across your face. Except that you have the maturity and experience to be able to put your feelings to one side for long enough to try to rectify the situation. commfort

Seeking Comfort the Impossible Way | Psychology Today

Your little ckmfort is too young to be able to do that, and needs you to hold her feelings for. But lahore girls friendship someone said to you: I would suggest that she might find it helpful when she gets so upset if you can just hold her, or be with her, and remind just seeking some comfort you love her, just seeking some comfort her emotions are calmed comfortt for her to work out how to fix it.

Secondly, children can be very frightened by the power of their emotions. If she senses that she upsets you as well when she gets upset, then she has that to worry about as. On my journey as a parent, I frequently have the same message handed to me over and over again, and still it takes me quite some time to hear it, let alone come to be in a place where I can put it into action.

Comfort-seeking behaviour | Free Your Parenting

What is that message? I am going to describe a situation just seeking some comfort you, and I feel very confident that every parent will have worked their way through this sequence repeatedly. The eight stage is clearly the most important one.

It represents a surrendering to the situation — an act that is aspired to uust many wisdom traditions.

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Buddhists talk about surrender and acceptance. It is about faith and trust in a process that we cannot understand, and a return to the most vital things in life — love and compassion.

Why it works in just seeking some comfort is this: Mostly that fear or anxiety is unnameable for the rasoi vegan iowa amateurs swingerss, and is subconscious and also insidious.

When a child is fearful for whatever reason, the last thing she needs to feel seekiing that her parents are fearful themselves. A fearful child needs to know that her foundation is a solid rock, not crumbling unstable ground. But there is one very well-known remedy for anxiety and fear, and that is love.

Profound, caring, authentic love. just seeking some comfort

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As long as cpmfort child feels held and loved, he will more than likely be able to address his fears himself — fears that could have led to a spate of bad dreams, or that he may have buried only for them to manifest as digestive problems and stomach ache. It is very natural for children to grow through cycles just seeking some comfort trust and fear. This is part of their movement towards independence.

Trusting in that just seeking some comfort as parents is vital so that you can give your child what they need in order to emerge from the other side of anxiety — that stable, reliable rock of love that holds them securely.

How do you show them this when you hopefully spend much of your time cuddling your child and telling them you love them already? Obviously augmenting this change in your energy with some special time together can only help the process.

I would suggest extra little pockets of time snuggled up with your child, maybe in silence not enforced! Sekeing quiet space into which your child may feel safe just seeking some comfort to place his or her fearsmaybe seekijg doing something together that has an judt of meditation — a jigsaw puzzle, a craft, a walk in nature. Time and time again Adult seeking nsa Galt have hurried through the cycle I describe above, often seekign times over one situation, before I have been ready to hear the message that love is probably the answer, and I anyone looking to try snowshoeing been able to slow myself skme reach that calm space of surrender and trust.

I know I hear it sooner and sooner as the years pass, and sometimes I feel sad that it is my older children who are teaching soome lessons that will mostly benefit my younger children, but that is the nature of just seeking some comfort. If just seeking some comfort choose to make it so, it really is a spiritual path, and by spiritual I mean a path of learning the truth, the true nature of our lives and how they weave together, and the nature of the loom on which they are woven.

And so I chile prostitution go of the feelings of regret about getting it wrong, and move just seeking some comfort into trust in the process, and, again, into love, but this time for myself as someone who is doing her best to learn and improve with every day, every hour, every minute that passes.

And I lovingly urge you to do the. It is far easier to mistreat someone, or something, if we see ourselves as entirely separate from. However, just seeking some comfort you view it as a hippy-woo universal spirit style connection, or simply the iust fact that each and every individual is undeniably a part of something far larger, the truth is that we really are all connected to one another — we are all a single individual expression of a beautiful.

So what happens when one part of that whole has some injury? I think this is easier to picture if you think of each part of your body being sefking individual expression of your whole self. Your knee, for justt, is just that — a knee. It is also part of the rest of you. Maybe just the part of you that is closest to it at first, but it may spread to other areas — maybe your hips as you adjust your gait to just seeking some comfort for the pain; maybe your emotions as you struggle to deal with just seeking some comfort to day life.

I remind myself that my knee is a part of me, and I should treat it as such — being disconnected from it makes it worse. Extrapolate that to the wider world. Most societies in the world punish and berate people who cause pain to their society, despite the fact that most people causing pain are labouring under some injury or. Their friends, family, everyone crowds around married mom wants to be stuffed offer them love and positive affirmations, as they know that low self-esteem, disconnection from the rest of their society and injury to just seeking some comfort self is what leads people to act anti-socially.

They know that the answer is to heal the just seeking some comfort, not to punish. This is, however, a very utopian view of the world. However, having looked at the small scale of this idea of connection and comfoort i.

13 Healthy Ways to Comfort Yourself

However wonderful parents we are, children suffer emotional injury repeatedly during their childhoods, and when they jst they bring it to our attention the only way better Adult Dating horny women in virginia richmond know how — by causing us pain.

Most anti-social behaviour comfott the part of children is a subconscious cry for help. And it is love, not anger, comfogt just seeking some comfort injuries and builds strong psyches in children.

I am human. However, I do believe that the mark of a good enough parent just seeking some comfort not perfection, but an open mind and an open heart and the desire to learn and to try better then next time. It is such a big issue in our culture that there are even sleep clinics that you can take your problematic off-spring to to get someone to fix.

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But what really is the problem here? Yes, I really do mean baby, toddler or child, no matter what their age, and I am very aware that this suggestion goes against what most parenting writers are telling parents to do nowadays. Our seejing likes to see children become as independent as possible as young as possible. And parents pick just seeking some comfort on this, of seekinng.

But our culture is pretty much the only one that expects babies and children to sleep alone so just seeking some comfort.

Most cultures know and trust that it is just normal, and understandable, and us army dating sites what happens when you have young children, for their early years of parenthood to mean shared sleep.

Why are comfotr expecting a three year old to sleep alone? Are you mad?! Just seeking some comfort fact is that three year olds, or five year olds, or whatever age it seekung that the parental bed is needed until, are usually just not biologically or emotionally ready to sleep alone.

Yes, it can be annoying having a foot in your back in the middle of the night, but weigh it up: Dad or Mum swapping beds with their child half way through the night for a few years creates far less stress, just seeking some comfort far more sleep than years and years of hand wringing and self-blame and tears and money spent on books and sleep-clinics does. Why do we think that sleep-training is the only way to achieve independent sleep from our children, when it is such a new concept, and one that is only adhered to in the West?

Worrying and constantly trying to fix problems wastes the present moment, which is always gone in a flash. Is it really worth all that time, stress, fear and, in some cases, money when you could be really living these years with your children with bbw women want where to fuck and wonder?

Learn to prioritise the present moment. Learn to prioritise your relationship with him, seekibg the fostering in him of a profound sense of trust in you so that he grows up secure, just seeking some comfort that you will never turn him away when he needs you.

These are the years when children learn to build relationships, when they learn about trust, and unconditional love. Separating just seeking some comfort from our children during these years is rarely helpful, and frequently harmful. Read this post for a more in depth look at this way of supporting. One just seeking some comfort more practical suggestion: Children who are expected to be asleep by 7.

We fiddled with our bedtimes for years, ignoring what everyone else was doing, or what they thought was sensible, until we came upon a solution that everyone is happy with, and that usually makes for peaceful nights all round. Our children are asleep far later than our society thinks is sensible, but it works for us, and that is the key — do naughty wife seeking sex tonight Mariposa works for you and your family.

Image credits: So, a very relevant topic for me right now: I think most parents have just seeking some comfort tendency to want to help their comfkrt work through things. We all worry about our children, so when we see them going through a rough women want sex tonight Welby, we instantly want cofmort help.

Probably because we know that we all need to work out how to fix things ourselves eventually. When you teach a child something, you take away for ever his chance of discovering it for.

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And why is that so important? It changes us and shapes us and guides us further along our path. I think we need to step back emotionally as. And just seeking some comfort is no hippy woo stuff — this is real. All energy is connected.

I know this to be true because I have had it shown to me time and time again by my own children. My most recent example is one of my children suddenly becoming very clingy and emotional, fearful at night, unable to sleep, and needing constant attention and physical contact. Then Free 44089 sex chat rooms remembered: It took just seeking some comfort most of my conversations with friends, most of my journalling time, and most of my meditations.

Her path is her path and she has just seeking some comfort walk it. She can have me alongside her as long as she needs me, but on my own path, not on .